G is for Gigantic M is for Meltdown

It’s got to the point where all you have to do is ask, and the billions come flying your way just because “you’re too big to fail”. It’s not a lesson any of us mere mortals can use, but if you’re a great big dinosaur of a car company, go right ahead.

General Motors we’re told by their auditors is at substantial risk of bankruptcy. That is not news. But it’s a useful little nugget to use if you happen to be GM looking for more cash to delay your collapse. Everyone knows the Obama administration is going to pay up, because the alternative is just too bleak to consider. GM goes under, and takes down the entire supplier structure which would be a body-blow to the rest of the world car industry, not to mention the hundreds of thousands added to the unemployment rolls in states that are already on their knees.

It’s a forlorn hope, but at least we should be a little imaginative in how we hand the money out this time. After all, we’ve kind of got these guys by the short and curlies. All we have to do (on behalf of the taxpayer of course, is twist). Here’s how…

First idea. How about insisting on the replacement of the entire senior management team? Does Rich Waggonner deserve to keep his job? Of course not. Should he retire with his many millions? Absolutely. Could anyone do a better job. My six year old daughter has expressed an interest in the gig. She and various other very smart people should be considered for the GM team.

Second idea. Perhaps we could structure the next ‘loan’ this way. We get ordinary stock and nationalize GM’s legacy costs. Turn GM healthcare and costs into pilot scheme for a new healthcare system. Have the US underwrite GM’s pensions. With those two costs off the books, the company’s share price will bounce back, and we the people sell our stock.

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america the proud

The Auto Industry defines America. There is hardly a major part of recent American history that isn’t profoundly influenced by cars, socially, economically, and politically. As the nation debates the future of its manufacturing heart and soul, it’s worth looking back a few decades in the shape of a list of manufacturers and their slogans or ‘taglines’. It wasn’t always the “Big Three”.

The list speaks for itself about the how much the nation’s vibrant multi-faceted, innovative car industry has been laid low in the past few decades.

The name of each manufacturer (and there are many) is followed by their slogan. Full of pathos, a vigorous, often naive optimism,  and an odd polite dignity, they tell of a time when American manufacturing ruled the world. Some of the lines are truly priceless. Enjoy.

1. Allen: Wonderful Power. The King of the Hill Climbers.
2. American: Miles of Smiles
3. Anderson: The Season’s Most Enchanting Car.
4. Auburn: Once an Owner, Always a Friend
5. Austin: A Car to Run Around In.
6. Beggs: Made a Little Better Than Seems Necessary.
7. Buick: When Better Automobiles Are Built, Buick Will Build Them.
8. Cadillac: Standard of the World
9. Cartercar: No Clutch to Slip. No Gears to Strip.
10. Cole: The World’s Safest Car.
11. Columbia: Gem of the Highway.
12. Commonwealth: The Car With the Foundation.
13. Continental Beacon: The Lowest Priced Full-Sized Car in the World.
14. Daniels: The Distinguished Car, With Just a Little More Power Than You’ll Ever Need.
15. De Vaux: A Jewel For Beauty.
16. Diana: The Easiest Steering Car in America.
17. Dodge: Dependable.
18. Dorris: Built Up to a Standard Not Down to a Price.
19. Driggs: Built With the Precision of Ordinance.
20. Duesenberg: The World’s Champion Automobile.
21. Dupont: The Car That Makes an Instant Appeal.
22. Durant: Just a Real Good Car.
23. Duryea: A Carriage, Not a Machine.
24. Elmore: The Car That Has No Valves.
25. Empire: The Little Aristocrats.
26. Falcon-Knight: America’s Finest Type of Motor.
27. Flint: The Sensation Of The Year.
28. Ford: The Universal Car.
29. Gas Au Lec: The Simple Car.
30. Gearless: A Common Sense Car with No Tender or Delicate Parts.
31. Glide: Ride in a Glide, Then Decide.
32. Handley-Knight: For the Fine Car Owner Who Drives From Choice.
33. Hanover: Saves Money Every Mile.
34. Haynes Apperson: America’s First Car.
35. Hudson: Look For The White Triangle.
36. Jackson: No Hill Too Steep, No Sand Too Deep.
37. Jewett: In All the World, No Car Like This.
38. King: The Car Of No Regrets.
39. Kline: The Ace of the Highway.
40. Leach: The Master Creation of the Year.
41. Liberty: All The World Loves a Winner.
42. Lincoln: Get Behind The Wheel.
43. Malcolm: Easiest Riding Car In The World.
44. Martin: Little Brother of the Aeroplane.
45. Maxwell: Perfectly Simple. Simply Perfect.
46. Maytag: The Hill Climber.
47. Moore: The World’s Biggest Little Automobile.
48. Nash: Leads The World in Motor Car Value.
49. National: The All-Ball Bearing Car.
50. Oldsmobile: Nothing To Watch But The Road.
51. Packard: Ask The Man Who Owns One.
52. Paige: The Most Beautiful Car In America.
53. Pierce-Arrow: Pride of Its Makers Makes You Proud in Possession.
54. Pilot: The Car Ahead.
55. Pope-Toledo: The Quiet, Mile-a-Minute Car.
56. Reo: The Gold Standard of Value.
57. Rickenbacker: A Car Worthy Of Its Name.
58. Roamer: America’s Smartest Car.
59. Sears: The Businessman’s Car.
60. Sheridan: The Complete Car.
61. Star: Worth The Money.
62. Studebaker: The Automobile With a Reputation Behind It.
63. Templar: The Superfine Small Car.
64. Vaughan: Made in the Carolinas.
65. Westcott: The Car with a Longer Life.

A vibrant, entrepreneurial car Industry was alive and well in this country before the business consolidated after the war. And now it seems the remaining few car conglomeraes have not lived up to the entrepreneurial promise of the past. The question is simple. Can the Industry revive its competitive and innovative spirit of its bygone days, or will it be lost forever?

If the American spirit lives on, the ghosts of these troubled or long gone companies can tell us that the greatness of what once was could be once more. America can be proud again. It just has to be itself.

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